Being deprived of something makes us focus on something more important in life. The princess cakes can wait. The sweet potato fries can wait. The four cheese pizza can wait. Outings to IKEA can wait. Movie nights can wait. Breakfast dates can wait.

Sacrifice, sacrifice.

• It is okay if your parents can’t afford to bring you to multiple countries for holidays.
• It is okay if you constantly have a bad hair day.
• It is okay if you turn out to be the least important person by a very important pal of yours.
• It iso okay to have a hard life and suffer badly now.
• It is okay if nobody thinks you are pretty, what more ‘hot’.
• It is okay if they underestimate you as being ‘not that clever’ in law.
• It is okay if they laugh at your dreams.
• It is okay if they compare you to your gorgeous girls.
• It is okay to be mindfucked by the shit that happens.

Just be thankful of these occurence. It defines who you are. Think about the least fortunate ones who will never have somebody to tell them that they are beautiful. Those who never got the chance to be on a plane. Who never got the privilege to be at school, even. Just be thankful.

I am still trying to comprehend with the overwhelming workload I have every single week. Still trying to understand my targets in life. Still trying to find a way to pump on more money. Still trying to get the feel of happiness in the midst of these all. You have all these things jumping around in your mind and every night before I go to sleep, before I let Nick Cave whisper me to sleep, I know I am in the damned realm of helplessness. I am unable to work my way through anything. I am unable to keep my mind going and most of all, I am unable to be who I was once. And I have no idea if it is a good thing or not.

But like they say, the nicest things in life are the unexpected ones. Being caught up in these mass confusion of the early 20s, something very beautiful happened that literally put all these to a permanent stop. And allows me to breathe normally again. The fact that a friend of mine has immense faith that I am able to reach my dreams one day and being told that she wanted to see me on stage one day feels like being pulled into the warmest bear hug. Having to live in a house where I was made fun at with the passion I am blessed by God, I was in awe. I was overwhelmed really, with her sincerity because no one really says that to me at my face. 

And all of a sudden, I realize it is okay for me to not have a mom by my side emotionally. It is okay if the dude I am crushin on has a girlfriend. It is okay to have my bitchy moment for what I believe in. Because at the end of the day, I need to keep on fighting. Fight for what I lived for. Fight with sincerity.

Because evidently, nothing beats the extra dollop of butter for the puff pastry.

…and there goes my so-called ‘anti-sugar’ diet.

• If (and only if) a parent threatens to assault you, and that particular scene reminds you of the intense drama Precious, then just laugh it off.
• When a parent to you (at your face) that you are a lazy bitch and the dirtiest, filthiest bitch the parent ever seen in life, then you just have to laugh it off.
• When a parent told you that when the parent gets mad and all you can do is to put on a stoned face (just because you don’t know what to do with your face-should you smirk or smile? Stoned face would do just fine for now) and trigger your anger by telling you that you have an ugly face, you just laugh it off.
• When a parent reminds you how lazy you are with your chores and told you that you are the ultimate definition of a stuck -up bitch for nothing, and remind you that you ain’t got nothing because you got no beauty, you’re stupid and there’s no reason to pull off an Olivia Palermo, (and clearly the said parent does not have the slightest idea what is it like to work as a waitress in 2011, and listen to these posh people and their ridiculous requests about their food and working in the office from 9 to 5) you just laugh it off.
• Again, when a parent reminds you how unclever you are, you just have (and force) yourself to laugh it off because listening to that ain’t gonna bring you nowhere. Perhaps that parent would never understand how reverse psychology won’t work on you. Just laugh it off because you ain’t a looser, because God makes us fighters, not loosers.
• If the parent accuses you of being mentally ill, just laugh it off. You know that that particular parent seems to be talking to a mirror.

Went to this ‘Italian’ restaurant, Pizza Uno for iftar with my dahlings and found out they serve ‘tapas’ so since I am into tomatoes and things like that, I’ve decided to give these babies a try. And I’m glad I did. Its THAAAA BOMB. It’s called Spicy Meatballs, and it is not that spicy, but it is indeed, perfectly seasoned with a hint of earthy spiciness. It is rich in taste and the meatballs locks so much moisture it is beyond juicy. It is soooooo good, I was crying my balls out because it tasted nothing like I’ve expected it to be. My new favourite~

The point is, I can’t tell you how to succeed. But I can tell you how not to: Give in to the shame of being rejected and put your manuscript—or painting, song, voice, dance moves, [insert passion here]—in the coffin that is your bedside drawer and close it for good. I guarantee you that it won’t take you anywhere. Or you could do what this writer did: Give in to your obsession instead.

~Kathryn Stockett

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